I Wish

When I saw other people came with their husband everytime they had their maternity check up and scan their baby, I felt sad. I wish I could have the same feelings and same moment together with my husband.

I want to cry 😭😭😭😢😢😢. Baby, I'm sorry. I will give the best for you. Let us be strong together.

Because you are my precious

Alhamdulillah for the past first trimester. My first trimester was not really good. Morning sickness almost everyday. Morning, afternoon, night. Until I felt like to give up. It's not easy. Really not easy. My husband not around because we are in a long distance relationship. The moment I need him by my side, I just keep telling myself 'be strong and don't cry'. But the fact was I cried a lot. I just don't want him to feel guilty and worried about my condition. He is working there. Working so hard to give us a better life. I will not complaining at all because my husband is the best husband I ever have. He is a perfect husband and really taking care of me very well.

Dear Allah, I'm stay strong because of you. I love my baby so much. I kept telling my baby to be strong and stay healthy. Please help me being strong for my baby. Please help to make sure my baby grow very well. Please guide us through our journey together.

Dear my precious baby, please keep strong for me. I'm sorry if I make you sick for the past first trimester. I will fighting for you. I will keep strong and and always be healthy for you. Be a good baby inside me. I love you so much my dear baby.  We will make it. InsyaAllah. Let's fighting together my dear baby.

He

He is someone that I love so much
Someone that I knew will take a good care of me
I love him since the first day I met him
And deep in my heart I wish he will be my love forever


He is the one that I pray
In every single prayer for him to be my husband
I love him every single seconds of my life
Love that I can't deny at all


He is my love
The only one that I love
For the past seven years
I wish he know how strong my love for him


I miss him so much
From the first day we met each other
And the feelings never ever reduce
Until now and forever

Once

As you shifting
You will begin to realize
You are not the same person you used to be


The things you used to tolerate have now become intolerable
Where you once remained quiet you are now speaking your truth
Where you once battled and argued you are now choosing to remain silent


You are beginning to understand the value of your voice
And there are some situations that no longer deserve your time, energy and focus

That Weird Feeling

It's strange.


Since yesterday, I keep thinking. Actually what is my actual feelings? Then, I realized that I don't have any feeling at all.


Normally, when I'm thinking on something, it's either mad or sad. I can be really mad or I can cry a lot. But now, none. I don't feel anything. Nothing. This is weird. Really weird.


I don't feel sad. I don't feel mad. I don't feel frustrated either feel happy at all. None. Totally nothing.


Then, I realized this is the same feeling that I felt 7 years ago. Exactly the same feeling. Feeling of losing everything.


Now, there is one thing that keep coming in my mind. Who will be the one who grasp my hand tightly? Is it still you?

Different

You and me
We are different
I'm scared

I'm Scared

I'm scared. Really scared when I heared that voice. My heart beat fast and my body shacking a lot. I'm totally scared. But, how should I inform him?

Ya Allah, please remove the fear from me.